build your life · friends & community
everyone says it's hard to make friends in tokyo. yeah, it is.
the most popular thing people say about living in tokyo is that it's really hard to make friends, and i'll be honest, that's true. my first year here was way less social than my second, and i can tell you exactly what changed. this is what i actually did, what worked, and what didn't.
how it actually went for me
year one was kind of lonely. year two wasn't. here's why.
year 1 · eikaiwa
stuck at work
when i first worked at ecc you're basically limited to the people you work with, and even then the schedule is so whack i was too tired to hang out anyway. and you only know your own school.
year 1 · trying stuff
joining literally anything
before i was doing content i was joining anything i could. run clubs even though i hate running lol, foreign meetups in yoyogi park. and i still hang out with some of the people i met at those meetups to this day.
year 2 · language school
finally, actual friends
it wasn't until language school that i found my own friends and friend groups for real. if you're deciding between working and studying and you want a social life, school makes finding a friend group really easy and natural.
year 2 · content
the creator crowd
there's a huge group of people making japan content, so once i started i found friends there too. it's not impossible, you just need something you and other people keep showing up to.
your situation, your playbook
how are you arriving?
the rooms · where people actually meet
language exchanges
cafés and events built for half-japanese, half-english conversation. you're qualified by definition, and so is everyone else there.
hobby & sports circles
社会人サークル: adult circles for hiking, futsal, photography, board games. recurring, low-pressure, and how japanese adults actually make friends too.
international communities
expat and international meetups: great volume, mixed depth. use them to find your people, then move the friendship somewhere quieter.
for students
your school is a friendship machine. lounges, events, festivals. university 学園祭 season opens hundreds of doors every autumn.
events & seasons
matsuri, ward events, seasonal everything. japan runs on calendared togetherness. going alone is normal and half the room did too.
the apps, honestly
friendship and dating apps work here, used deliberately, in daylight-honest doses. my full app-by-app review is coming to the letter first.
my named picks (the specific exchanges, circles, and events i'd actually send a friend to) go out through the letter first, then live here.
the part i'm gonna be so fucking for real about
most people you meet, you won't see again
no discord (yet)